Yesterday's Feelings
by The Emmanator
Summary: (Kikyou & Kaede childhood fic) All those feelings, those yesterday’s feelings will all be lost in time...but today, I’ve wasted away, for today is on my mind...[COMPLETED]
1. Prologue: Lost In Time

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A/N: Summary and title are from The Used song "Yesterday's Feelings". I didn't make it up, because I'm lazy like that. (Hehe) this is short, no more than 5 chapters, its pre-series, pre-Kikyou getting the jewel even. Prologue and Epilogue are present; chapters 1-3 (or however many) are Kaede's flashback…

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Yesterday's Feelings

Prologue: Lost In Time

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Kaede looked up into the sun that had been beating down on her as she tended to her fields. A few children played, she thought she heard a battle cry similar to Inuyasha's mangled with yells and giggles, she couldn't tell in her old age.

She couldn't quite remember when she had played games like that with the other village children who were now old and withered as she was today. It had been 50 years; 50 years had taken its toll on her body as well.

When she was a child, no one dared into the forest because of the evil hanyou that was supposed to have lived there. Well after Kikyou-onee-sama's death still no one ventured in. Until…

Until, the hunters said they found a strangely clothed girl in Inuyasha's Forest, on the Goshinboku itself, even. And then she met her sister, in the body of a young girl who really just wanted to go home. Kagome.

She had seen many things in her life, and just before she had met Kagome, she thought it would be good that she didn't have any unfinished obligations so she could rest in peace when she did pass on. But now she wanted to hold out, until she could see Kagome and Inuyasha and the others back into her village safely with everything over.

They had so much love, the five of them, that she felt a little younger around them. Sometimes she was a little startled by Kagome, while she didn't seem much like Kikyou-onee-sama on the outside, that overwhelming kindness was there.

But Kagome, was Kagome, and that's all she wanted to be.

And Kikyou, would always be Kikyou-onee-sama.

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A/N: Suggestions? Reviews? Pelt things at me?


	2. Chapter 1: Close My Eyes And

A/N: Okay, first chapter, yay! Yes, it is short, I know

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Yesterday's Feelings

Chapter 1: Close My Eyes And…

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Kaede was not like other normal girls her age, not only was she the precious little sister of the young village miko, she didn't get out and play much, because she was helping her sister. But there were times when she was left alone, so she could play, while her sister was an apprentice.

When she did play, she felt a little estranged from the other children, not knowing their games as well as they did. But they accepted her and invited her into their games nonetheless.

"Kaede-chan," one girl, Yumiko, spoke up suddenly.

"Ah?" Kaede asked, turning to the smaller girl.

"Is Miko-sama a very strong Miko?" she asked. "Chichi-ue, and okaa-san say she is," she added.

"Hai, Kikyou-onee-sama is a very strong miko," Kaede agreed.

A figure approaching over the hill, just as the sun was setting gave Kaede the clue it was time to go home, to eat. "Kaede, come," Kikyou called in her blessed calm voice.

Kaede ran up to her elder sister. "How was your day, onee-sama?" she asked, smiling.

"It was good," she replied calmly. "The same, mostly," she added as they walked into their hut. They sat down across from each other, not talking for a moment. "Kaede, would you like to learn how to cook?" she asked.

"Hai, onee-sama!" she answered, straightening her back. Over the course of dusk to well into the night when Kaede's eyes were beginning to get bleary, Kikyou instructed her on the proper way to make the stew she had been taught by their mother to make.

Kikyou handed Kaede the bowl; Kaede gave a slight bow of her head and accepted the bowl and chopsticks. When she finished, Kikyou cleared her throat to speak.

"You can try to make it tomorrow, if you'd like," she told her younger sister.

Kaede nodded. "I can try to make it as well as you do, Kikyou-onee-sama," she agreed. "I'm going to go to sleep now," she added.

"Rest well, Kaede," Kikyou replied nodding, watching her sister unroll the small mat she slept on.

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The next morning, Kikyou's attention was with a man, who claimed his wife and daughter had fallen ill, Kaede looked toward the forest. The forest that was supposed to be crawling with youkai, and even a hanyou was rumored to live there.

She put the sling of arrows she was holding for her sister down and wandered towards the forest, curious to know more of the stories it told.

"Kaede!" Kikyou's voice interrupted her thoughts sharply.

She turned to her sister, hanging her head she walked back over. "Gomen-ne, Kikyou-onee-sama," she muttered sadly.

"It isn't your fault, but too many children have lost their heads going in there," she whispered, then she straightened up and, regaining her perfect composure, continued talking to the stuttering, worked up man in front of her.

_'Kikyou-onee-sama…is perfect,' _Kaede thought, admiring her sister from her position at the young woman's side.

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A/N: Well?


	3. Chapter 2: Move To The Back of My Mind

A/N: This is actually the final chapter before the epilogue…yay…

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Yesterday's Feelings

Chapter 2: Move To the Back of My Mind

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Kaede held the basket of herbs at her side, waiting for Kikyou's job for her. She watched the man wrapped in bandages out of the corner of her eye carefully. She didn't trust him, she had seen eight summers and she knew that men like these were not trustable.

"Kaede, hand me your basket," Kikyou finally voiced quietly, somehow her silence making her hard to know whether she had come or gone.

Kaede nodded, handing Kikyou the basket and walking away from the bandaged man a little, thankful for her sister's presence.

Suddenly there was a scream from outside the cave, coming from the village. Kikyou looked up, jerking a little in shock.

"Come Kaede, we need to find out what's happening," she said quickly, quietly as they rushed from the cave, leaving the man alone.

The village was in chaos, demons attacking it ruthlessly. Kaede tried to run to their hut to hide, but in her frenzy someone whipped around, claws raking across one of her eyes, she screamed in pain and the demon fled.

As soon as Kikyou had cleared the village of the demons she walked over to her sister, lifting her head up so she could examine the wound.

And Kaede had some feeling, deep in the pit of her stomach that maybe this was Kikyou's end. She had never expected her sister to have a happy ending, but she had wished it. But she knew now, that it was going to be a tragedy, it had already began writing itself.

Maybe that was why she cried so much, while she lied and said it was the pain of losing her own eye, it was because she knew her sisters time was dwindling down. Maybe Kikyou knew it too, but she went along like she didn't.

The day that Onigumo had disappeared from the cave, that's when Kaede _knew. _And she wanted to tell her sister, but would she be able to?

"Kikyou-onee-sama!" she exclaimed as Kikyou was walking from the village. "What are you doing?"

"Fulfilling a promise, it will make everyone much happier, Kaede," she replied calmly. "Go back inside," she added.

Kaede looked a little baffled, but did as her sister said.

She sat in the hut waiting too long, when she heard the village under attack. Cries of Inuyasha.

"It's Inuyasha!"

"It's Inuyasha!"

Then…her sister….

"INUYASHA!" that scream that shattered the chaos.

She rushed out, and by the time she got to her sister, the hanyou, Inuyasha was limp against the Goshinboku, an arrow in his chest.

Kikyou fell to her knees, still, even dying, graceful and beautiful.

"Onee-sama!" she cried, rushing to her sister's side.

"Kaede, take this," she started, wincing in pain, holding out the pink jewel, the Shikon no Tama.

"Miko-sama, you're injured!" a villager pointed out.

"We must treat your wound, Kikyou-onee-sama," Kaede started.

Kikyou shook her head as another wave of pain coursed through her. "No…I will die, Kaede, take this…Shikon no Tama, and burn it with my body," she ordered, as she finally fell to the ground in her last moment of life.

"Onee-sama!"

At eight years, Kaede thought that putting her sister to rest was the most painful thing she'd ever do in her life…

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A/N: Next chapter, last chapter, thanks to all my reviewers! Lovums!


	4. Epilogue: Feelings Mean Nothing Now

A/N: Finally, the epilogue. Fun, fun…

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Yesterday's Feelings

Epilogue: 'Cause Feelings Mean Nothing Now

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…At eight years, Kaede thought that putting her sister to rest was the most painful thing she'd ever do in her life.

50 years later, still living on, her body withered and weakened from age. Somehow, she felt only one purpose in these days.

She had seen the Shikon no Tama disappear from this world with her sister.

She had seen the Shikon no Tama reappear into this world with the reincarnation.

She had seen her sister disappear from this world…

She had seen her sister reappear against her will by the witch Urasue.

How she hated that woman for doing that to her sister. Defiling the grave that gave so many people inspiration to keep living.

She had seen much life, and much death in her long drawn out years of wishing to let go and rest in peace. But now Kaede realized she had been kept alive to see Kagome and Inuyasha succeed where Kikyou and Inuyasha had failed, to purify the jewel.

But, she would hold on just to see her sister put back to rest, to see that travesty clay and dirt body put back into the Earth that it had been ripped from.

…Over 50 years, Kaede knew that watching her sister's life restored was the most painful thing she'd ever see in her life….

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A/N: Short, simple and to the point. Hope you guys liked it! Thank you!


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